A podcast sharing stories of lived experience with mental illness
July 18, 2023

Growing up with a mother who has BiPolar Disorder, an honest account

Growing up with a mother who has BiPolar Disorder, an honest account

I was interviewed recently by Kerrie Atherton from https://storiesofhope.com.au

I shared my story about growing up with a single mother with Bipolar and the effect it had on me growing up into adulthood. 

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Parental mental illness affects children.

Parental mental illness affects children in a multitude of ways, from their emotional well-being to their daily routines. In a recent episode of the podcast, Stories of Hope Worldwide, host Kerry Atherton spoke with me about my experience growing up with a mother who struggled with bipolar disorder. I recount a defining moment at the age of seven when he was pulled out of school and taken to a human services office, where he learned that his mother was in the hospital. He and his younger sister were then placed in foster care with a stranger.

This sudden upheaval in his life had a profound impact on my sense of security and stability. I describe how his reality and worldview were completely shifted in a matter of hours, and how he lost his innocence and naivety as a child. The trauma of being separated from his mother and placed in a strange environment with unfamiliar people left a lasting impression on him.

But my experience is not unique. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), approximately 1 in 5 adults in the United States experiences mental illness in a given year. This means that millions of children are growing up in households where a parent or caregiver is struggling with mental health issues. The effects of this can be far-reaching and long-lasting.

Children who live with a parent with mental illness may experience a range of emotions, including fear, confusion, anger, and guilt. They may feel responsible for their parent's condition or blame themselves for their parent's behaviour. They may also feel isolated and ashamed and may be reluctant to seek help or talk about their situation with others.

In addition to the emotional impact, parental mental illness can also have practical consequences for children. They may have to take on adult responsibilities at a young age, such as caring for younger siblings or managing household tasks. They may experience disruptions in their daily routines, such as changes in living arrangements or frequent moves. They may also face stigma and discrimination from others who do not understand their situation.

It is important for children who live with a parent with mental illness to receive support and resources to help them cope. This may include counseling, therapy, or support groups. It is also important for parents with mental illness to seek treatment and support for themselves, as this can help them better manage their condition and provide a more stable environment for their children.

Overall, the impact of parental mental illness on children is significant and should not be overlooked. By raising awareness and providing support, we can help ensure that children living with parental mental illness are able to thrive and reach their full potential.

Childhood trauma due to bipolar.

In this podcast, I share my personal experience of growing up with a mother who suffered from bipolar disorder. The speaker describes how, as a child, they were exposed to significant trauma, including their mother being taken away to psychiatric wards and experiencing emotional deregulation. The speaker also notes that their mother never explained her condition to them and instructed them not to tell anyone about it, which added to the confusion and isolation they felt.

Childhood trauma due to bipolar disorder is a serious issue that can have long-lasting effects on a child's mental health and well-being. Children living with a parent who has bipolar disorder may experience a range of emotions, including fear, confusion, and shame. They may also feel isolated and unsupported, as their parent's condition may be stigmatized and not well-understood by others.

Children living with parental mental illness are at an increased risk of developing mental health problems themselves. They may also struggle with academic and social difficulties, as their home environment may be unstable and unpredictable. It is important for parents, caregivers, and educators to be aware of the potential impact of parental mental illness on children and to provide support and resources to help them cope.

There are a number of strategies that can be used to support children living with parental mental illness. These may include providing access to counseling or therapy, connecting them with support groups or peer networks, and educating them about their parent's condition in an age-appropriate way. It is also important to create a safe and stable home environment for children, with clear routines and boundaries.

In conclusion, childhood trauma due to bipolar disorder is a serious issue that can have significant and long-lasting effects on a child's mental health and well-being. By raising awareness and providing support, we can help ensure that children living with parental mental illness are able to thrive and reach their full potential. It is important for parents, caregivers, and educators to be aware of the potential impact of parental mental illness on children and to provide support and resources to help them cope.

Parental decisions affect children's lives.

The podcast transcript highlights the impact of parental decisions on children's lives. The speaker talks about growing up with a mother who had bipolar disorder and how her decisions affected their family. The mother's decision to move to Perth, away from her family, and her reluctance to seek help for her condition put the speaker and their siblings at risk. They were placed in foster care, and their family was unaware of their situation for years.

The speaker also talks about their father, who went to jail for a white-collar crime. This decision left the children without a father figure and caused them to suffer from rejection issues. The speaker struggled to form relationships with women and feared rejection.

The podcast highlights the importance of parental decisions and their impact on children's lives. Parents must consider the consequences of their actions on their children's mental health and well-being. It is crucial to seek help and support when dealing with mental illness to prevent children from being placed in dangerous situations.

The speaker also emphasizes the need for awareness and support for children living with parental mental illness. Caregivers, educators, and parents must be aware of the potential impact of mental illness on children and provide resources and support to help them cope.

In conclusion, parental decisions affect children's lives significantly, and it is crucial to consider their impact on children's mental health and well-being. The podcast highlights the importance of seeking help and support when dealing with mental illness and the need for awareness and resources to support children living with parental mental illness. By providing support and resources, we can help children living with parental mental illness thrive and reach their full potential.

Childhood rejection shapes personality.

The podcast discusses how childhood rejection can shape personality and have a lasting impact on an individual's life. The speaker shares their personal experience of rejection and how it affected them. They explain that they turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism and did not deal with the trauma until later in life.

The speaker also discusses how their father's rejection affected them. They explain that their father chose work over spending time with them, and this caused them to feel rejected. It was not until later in life that their father admitted to making a mistake. This shows that parental decisions can have a significant impact on a child's life, and it is important for parents to consider their actions and the potential consequences on their children's mental health.

The speaker also talks about their coping mechanisms and how they developed a mask to hide their true feelings. They were good at sports and had many friends, which helped them feel accepted. However, they did not want to bring friends home because of their mother's emotional dependence on them. This highlights the importance of creating a safe and supportive home environment for children, where they can express their feelings and emotions without fear of judgment or rejection.

The speaker also discusses the lack of support and resources available to them when they were growing up. They did not receive counseling or support when their mother was in psychiatric wards. This highlights the need for awareness and resources to support children living with parental mental illness. By providing support and resources, we can help children living with parental mental illness thrive and reach their full potential.

In conclusion, childhood rejection can shape personality, and it is important to seek help and support when dealing with mental illness. Parents should consider the potential impact of their decisions on their children's mental health, and we need to create a safe and supportive environment for children to express their feelings and emotions. By providing support and resources, we can help children living with parental mental illness thrive and reach their full potential.

Lack of support affects children.

The podcast highlights the lack of support that children with parental mental illness face. The speaker recounts their own experiences of growing up with a mother who suffered from mental illness. They describe feeling like they had no safe haven, and being emotionally stunted as a result of their experiences. The lack of support and guidance during childhood can have a profound impact on a person's personality and emotional development.

Children with parents who suffer from mental illness often feel isolated and alone. They may not have anyone to talk to about their experiences, and may feel like they have to keep their feelings hidden. This can lead to emotional suppression and a lack of emotional development. The speaker in the podcast describes crying themselves to sleep every night, but feeling like they had to put on a mask during the day to hide their emotions.

The lack of support can also lead to a lack of confidence and self-esteem. The speaker describes feeling skeptical of new people and not being overly friendly. They had to develop mechanisms to protect themselves from being bullied, but this also made it difficult for them to form close relationships.

It is important for parents to consider the potential impact of their decisions on their children's mental health. The speaker describes how their mother's financial irresponsibility led to the family having to sell their house. This added to the stress and instability of their childhood, and made it even more difficult for them to cope.

It is also important for society to create a safe and supportive environment for children with parental mental illness. By providing support and resources, we can help these children thrive and reach their full potential. This can include mentoring programs, counseling services, and support groups. By giving children the tools they need to cope with their experiences, we can help them overcome the challenges they face and lead fulfilling lives.

In conclusion, the lack of support for children with parental mental illness can have a profound impact on their emotional development and personality. It is important for parents to consider the potential impact of their decisions on their children's mental health, and for society to provide support and resources to help these children thrive. By doing so, we can help create a brighter future for all children, regardless of their circumstances.

Chaotic childhood and public pressure.

The podcast discussed a chaotic childhood and the pressure of public attention that can arise from parental mental illness. The speaker shared their personal experience of being raised by a mother who struggled with mental health issues, which resulted in a lot of moving around and instability.

The speaker's mother would often thrust them into the spotlight, making them the center of attention at events and gatherings. This constant pressure to perform and be seen as successful had a negative impact on the speaker's self-esteem and sense of value. They felt like they were being treated as possessions rather than individuals, and their worth was based on their achievements rather than their inherent qualities.

The speaker also discussed the impact of their mother's mental illness on their family's living situation. They had to sell their house and move to different places frequently, which disrupted their education and social life. They would often stay with relatives or friends, which made it difficult to establish a sense of stability and belonging.

Furthermore, the speaker's mother's mental illness was triggered by traumatic events, such as the death of a family member. This highlights the importance of providing support and resources for families dealing with mental illness, as traumatic events can exacerbate existing conditions.

The pressure of public attention and the instability of their living situation had a profound impact on the speaker's emotional development and personality. They developed a fear of public humiliation and struggled with their sense of self-worth. However, they also acknowledged that they were fortunate to have supportive relatives and friends who provided a sense of normalcy and stability during difficult times.

In conclusion, the podcast highlights the importance of providing support for children with parental mental illness. The lack of support can have a profound impact on their emotional development and personality, and it is essential for parents to consider the potential impact of their decisions on their children's mental health. Society should also provide resources and support to help these children thrive and create a brighter future for all children, regardless of their circumstances.

Speak up about mental health.

Furthermore, the podcast also sheds light on the need to speak up about mental health. While there has been an increase in awareness about depression and anxiety, there is still a lack of attention given to other mental health issues such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and OCD. The podcast argues that mental health organizations should not only focus on the more commonly known mental illnesses but also provide support for those with complex mental illnesses. This includes young carers who are often overlooked in the mental health conversation.

The podcast host also speaks about his personal experience with mental health and how he was not given the support he needed as a child. His mother constantly praised him, which hindered his development and made him believe that he did not need to work hard. It was only later in life that he realized the negative impact this had on him and had to work hard to overcome it. His story emphasizes the importance of providing children with the right support and guidance to ensure they grow up to be mentally healthy individuals.

The podcast also touches on the issue of mental health funding and how it is often misused. Many organizations receive funding but do not use it to provide actual support for those in need. This highlights the need for transparency in mental health organizations and for society to hold them accountable for their actions.

In conclusion, the podcast highlights the importance of speaking up about mental health and providing support for those in need. It is essential for society to prioritize mental health and provide resources and support to those who need it. By doing so, we can create a brighter future for all individuals, regardless of their circumstances.

Mental health awareness needs action.

The podcast conversation sheds light on the need for action in the mental health awareness movement. While depression and anxiety are commonly discussed, there are many other mental health issues that also require attention and support. The lack of resources and support for individuals with bipolar disorder and other mental health conditions is a significant concern. It is crucial to have a system in place that can provide the necessary support and treatment for individuals in need.

The government's funding of mental health initiatives is a positive step, but it is not enough. There needs to be more action taken to address the mental health crisis. The podcast discusses the need for politicians to use their platform to speak up about mental health and create a dialogue that can lead to change. It is important to move beyond just raising awareness and take concrete steps towards improving mental health care and support.

The podcast also touches on the issue of mental health advocacy and the potential for individuals to exploit the movement for personal gain. It is essential to have genuine advocates who are committed to making a difference and providing support to those in need. The mental health advocacy movement needs to be grounded in authenticity and a genuine desire to help others.

The conversation also highlights the importance of exploring all treatment options, including extreme treatments like electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), for individuals who are struggling with mental health issues. While ECT can be a controversial treatment, it may be necessary for some individuals who are not responding to other forms of treatment. It is crucial to weigh the benefits and risks of all treatment options and provide individuals with the support they need.

In conclusion, the mental health awareness movement needs action. It is essential to prioritize mental health and provide resources and support to those who need it. Politicians, advocates, and individuals alike must work towards creating a brighter future for all individuals, regardless of their circumstances. By taking concrete steps towards improving mental health care and support, we can make a significant difference in the lives of those struggling with mental health issues.

Self-care is crucial for mental health.

One of the most important aspects of mental health care is self-care. It is crucial to take care of oneself in order to maintain good mental health. The podcast discussed the impact of bipolar disorder on the speaker's life, and the importance of self-care strategies for managing the trauma associated with it.

Self-care strategies can vary from person to person, but they should always be focused on promoting mental and emotional well-being. The speaker in the podcast discussed how he took control of his own mental health by changing his attitude and mindset. He stopped being a victim and started working hard in different areas of his life.

This is a great example of how self-care can be empowering and transformative. It is important to recognize that self-care is not selfish or indulgent, but rather a necessary component of mental health care. By taking care of oneself, individuals can better manage stress and anxiety, improve their mood, and enhance their overall quality of life.

Self-care strategies can include things like exercise, meditation, therapy, journaling, and spending time with loved ones. It is important to find what works for you and to make self-care a regular part of your routine. This can be challenging, especially for those who are struggling with mental health issues, but it is essential for long-term mental and emotional well-being.

In conclusion, self-care is crucial for mental health. It is important to prioritize mental health and take concrete steps towards improving mental health care and support. By practicing self-care and promoting mental health awareness, we can create a brighter future for all individuals, regardless of their circumstances.

Real people's mental health stories.

In recent years, there has been a growing awareness of mental health issues and the importance of mental health care. However, much of the conversation around mental health has been dominated by celebrities and public figures, leaving the stories of real people largely unheard. This is where podcasts and other forms of media come in, providing a platform for individuals to share their mental health journeys and connect with others who may be going through similar experiences.

One such podcast is the one discussed in the transcript, which features real people sharing their mental health stories. The host emphasizes the importance of sharing these stories, as they provide hope and inspiration for others who may be struggling with mental health issues. He also highlights the role of self-care in maintaining good mental health, and the need for mental health professionals to prioritize the well-being of their patients and their families.

Real people's mental health stories can be incredibly powerful, as they offer a glimpse into the lived experiences of individuals who have faced mental health challenges. These stories can help to break down stigma and encourage others to seek help and support, knowing that they are not alone in their struggles. They can also provide valuable insights into the ways in which mental health care can be improved, by highlighting the gaps and shortcomings in the current system.

Furthermore, real people's mental health stories can serve as a reminder that mental health issues can affect anyone, regardless of their background or circumstances. By sharing these stories, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate society that prioritizes mental health and well-being for all individuals.

In conclusion, real people's mental health stories are an important and valuable contribution to the ongoing conversation around mental health. By sharing these stories, we can promote awareness, break down stigma, and encourage individuals to prioritize their mental health and well-being. It is crucial that we continue to listen to and learn from these stories, in order to create a brighter future for all individuals, regardless of their mental health status.

Self-care is our responsibility.

One recurring theme in mental health stories is the idea that self-care is our responsibility. While seeking support from professionals and loved ones can be helpful, ultimately it is up to us to take care of ourselves and prioritize our mental health.

In a podcast, one individual shared their experience with self-care. They discussed how they had let go of anger and resentment towards their father, which had been holding them back. They also emphasized the importance of taking action and responsibility for one's own mental well-being.

This idea of taking responsibility for our mental health is crucial, as it empowers individuals to take control of their lives and make positive changes. It also helps to break down the victim mentality that can often be present in mental health struggles.

Self-care can take many forms, such as exercise, mindfulness practices, therapy, or even just taking time for oneself. It is important to find what works best for each individual and to prioritize self-care as a necessary part of daily life.

While seeking support from others can be helpful, it is ultimately up to us to take responsibility for our mental health and well-being. By prioritizing self-care and taking action towards positive change, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and those around us.

Be proactive, not a victim.

The podcast emphasizes the importance of being proactive instead of being a victim. The speaker shares their own experience of changing their attitude and being proactive with people, which led to personal growth and success. They also discuss the impact of childhood trauma on mental health and how it can lead to unraveling in later years if left unprocessed.

The idea of being proactive is all about taking control of our lives and not waiting for things to happen to us. It means being intentional about our actions and decisions, and actively seeking out opportunities for growth and improvement. Being proactive also involves taking responsibility for our mental health and well-being, rather than relying solely on others for support.

The speaker acknowledges that seeking help from others can be helpful, but ultimately it is up to us to prioritize self-care and take action towards positive change. This means recognizing the impact of past trauma on our current mental health and actively working to process and heal from it. It also means being mindful of our thoughts and behaviors, and making conscious choices that align with our values and goals.

The importance of being proactive cannot be overstated, especially in today's fast-paced and often stressful world. By taking control of our lives and being intentional about our actions, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and those around us. We can also serve as a positive example for others, inspiring them to take charge of their own lives and prioritize their mental health and well-being.

In conclusion, being proactive is a powerful tool for personal growth and success. It involves taking responsibility for our mental health and well-being, being intentional about our actions and decisions, and actively seeking out opportunities for growth and improvement. By adopting a proactive mindset, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and those around us, and inspire others to do the same.

Take control of your life.

Throughout the podcast, the recurring theme was taking control of one's life. Joel spoke about how he used his traumatic experiences as fuel to push forward and succeed in high-stress work environments. He also emphasized the importance of reframing one's mindset and taking control of their circumstances, regardless of what has happened to them.

This message is incredibly powerful and relevant in today's society. Often, we can feel like victims of our circumstances, powerless to change our situation. However, Joel's message reminds us that we are in control of our lives and that we have the power to make positive changes.

Taking control of our lives involves being proactive about our mental health and well-being. It means actively seeking out resources and support when we need it, rather than waiting for someone else to come to our rescue. It also involves being intentional about our actions and decisions, making choices that align with our values and goals.

Joel's message is especially relevant for those who have experienced trauma or difficult circumstances. He encourages us to use these experiences as fuel for growth and improvement, rather than allowing them to hold us back. By reframing our mindset and taking control of our circumstances, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and those around us.

In conclusion, being proactive is a powerful tool for personal growth and success. It involves taking responsibility for our mental health and well-being, being intentional about our actions and decisions, and actively seeking out opportunities for growth and improvement. By adopting a proactive mindset, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and those around us, and inspire others to do the same. So, take control of your life and make the most of every opportunity that comes your way.